climate trauma

by i feel okay

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climate trauma is the interpersonal-and-existential-crisis-on-the-impending-climate-apocalypse experience of a lifetime


released June 26, 2018

Sam Nazz and Gabriel Weitzman recorded the drum kit at The Hartt School
Jeremy Langevin played the drum kit on tracks 1, 4, ,5, 6, 7, and 9
Gill Pitzer played the violin on tracks 1, 2, 4, 5, 7, 10, and 12 and composed or recorded additional synths parts on tracks 6 and 9
Zakariya A. Houacine composed and performed the rest of the album

Special Thanks to all these folks in no particular order for their advice or support whether it was related to this album or not:
Grace Annunziato, Judybelle Camangyan, my ride or die pals in Prince Daddy & The Hyena, Luis Wiest, Jake from Counter-Intuitive Records, the sweet folks in Pictures of Vernon, the unstoppable optimism and hype of the folks in Just Friends, Henderson Cole, Sam Kless, Karly Hartzman, Alex Atchinson/Chatterbot Records for their tremendous support of this projects independence, Smol Data who made our tour in January both possible and a painless experience, Zoe & all the folks who perform in Kississippi, my grandparents especially for keeping me woke about the climate since day one, my actual parents for giving me a place to live and putting up with my shortcomings, the folks who lived at Dennis for housing me for a week and letting me eat their ramen, and countless other folks who have effected my life in some way if we have ever even met or had a conversation it probably made a difference I appreciate you even if I didn't explicitly state it here <3


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i feel okay Albany, New York

Thanks to denial, we are immortal.

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Track Name: the tiniest moment
in the tiniest moment it dawned on me
like ice water rushing through your ankle
it's time exponentially collapsing
it's the void that you're feeding

human beings scrolling through the darkness
searching for a relative likeness
the truth we deny, a little bit frightening
hanging in limbo, we dream in silence

another year and this could all end quite violent

now all I want to do for you is sing this right until I shed some light through

now all I have to do is sing this right for you, feel the weight of the whole moon on the tides pushing through

ba da da da da da dada
Track Name: where is my great big glo up?
tiny movements towards something healing
never certain what I should be feeling
weight under my eyes grows ad-infinitum
crack a joke just to spite them
sleeping with both eyes open
ambition being sucked right through a vacuum,
my dreams slipped right through

where is my great big glow up?

glow red sun shining in my eye
kaleidoscopic vision obscures you from my sight

all that I have
are window pane flashbacks
of your head resting gently in the void of my chest
UV sun rays
bodies quickly dripping away
this is when it all starts slipping to grey

let me get to sleep
wanna see it in my dreams

when my body deletes, I'll glow up and out
just for now I'm moving on, grinding my teeth to the gum
Track Name: 'i cannot wake up from this nightmare'
Sometimes I have this dream.

I’m going for a hike and discover a remote farm house on fire.

Children are calling for help from the upper windows. So I call the fire brigade. But they don’t come, because some mad person keeps telling them that it is a false alarm.

The situation is getting more and more desperate, but I cant convince the firemen to get going.

I cannot wake up from this nightmare.

-Stefan Rahmstorf.
Track Name: the dreamer on fire
the bus is on fire and I'm shaking you but
neither of us can find the resolve to wake up
from the nightmare come up
60,000 miles of slow death til it's scorched up

passing transit their stares of disgust
misinformed cheers, our bucket of rust
it's hardly a choice to keep eating dust

fire enters my lungs
bad choice or necessary crutch
I begin to cough it back up
lucid moment, time to wake up
Track Name: climate trauma
I think that I've lost my whole mind, it's alright
me and my friends all wanna die
no! more like we just wanna feel alright, is that fine?
struggling to unpoison my mind

when the ocean tears apart the whole coastline
where will I run and try to hide?
dissociation can escape your problems in real time
Track Name: downerr
with the chasm in the rear-view, tidal waves are crashing through a life I hardly knew
if I stare too long the glare will burn my retnas, true
car seat heartbreak // something I can't undo

wonder if ever I'll return to eating sunlight
creeping frights of the anthropogenic type
I know that the truth could be a downerr, too
the holes in your heart form an oculus that can see too

if I sink to the bottom of the stew
I'll wonder what's become of you
was hoping we could laugh it off
when the worms are done with us

and it'll be so nice to meet you
when the walls come crashing down
reminisce on the bluest of moons
a human condition from a peculiar view

I know that the truth is a downerr too
reality has become my nightmare fuel
Track Name: grounding
I was sleeping through the signs
I was taking my time
anxious, in decline
the body's no longer mine

basement blacklight
painted constellations on their jackets

knobbly fingers crumpling receipts inside a pocket
worry-charged rock fiddling between those digits

pretraumatic stress
slow violence, invisible duress

home, that crackling voice on the phone
sitting under stars not quite alone
I realized it's worth it
(life *is* suffering after all!)

now that I'm taking water
waves crash a little harder
grounding rituals drag me to the ocean floor
Track Name: crush
last thing I'd wanna do is scare you
spiral into silence the data breakthrough
it's 3 millimeters rising per year

Sisyphus blind pushing a boulder on a virtual treadmill
while the world falls apart

glow up and out with me
scream until your voice falls softly
I don't think that they care

used to walk around eating sunlight
now I run from UVs burning bright
oh my god I think that I care

(it's been said I came into this world screaming and that's exactly how I'm leaving)
Track Name: adenosine
overtones screamed all at once
the sound of my snapping crutch
I can see the end
just around the bend

prophetic // pathetic
ring out in unison

all my truths absurd
know I'm not the only one
who pushed too hard
while refusing to budge
Track Name: 3/4 okay
non-ionized radiation glow
slow fried my brain
forgot what it meant to be okay

now I'm the birds chirping over highway hum
persistent while things grow numb

all that I have is this unsteady pace
bringing my closer to seeing your face

my dreams are clearer now
preparing me for what is yet to come and
the elasticity of loved ones
the fringe coming undone

the notes were always bound to waver some
our heat death written in the stars above
light a candle against the darkness
dream in laughter sonorous

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